Friday, January 22, 2010


okay i havnt written in a while so ill just have to bang this one out gonzo style. Theres an outdoor olympic size swimming pool taht costs 60 baht(less than 2 bucks) for the day. no one is ever there. theres a bunch of platforms up to ten meters (still too scared to jump of the ten. keep hurting my nuts jumping off the 8). Its really sureal standing that high up at a completely deserted pool and the misty mountains in the background(misty mountain sounds gay). Ill have to take a picture and some video there at some point but john went ahead of me to the south and took the camera with him.

theres some awesome markets around here that the thai kids shop at (no fucking crackers). Theyre set up like a mall and kids hang out there in the same way but its outside. god im a fucking idiot. its dope though cuz like theyll be a boutique with like expensive bapesque tee shirts and flourescent lights and three glass walls in the middle of a dusty ass block in the dirt as if it just teleported there from soho. pictures later too i guess. Also lots of used sneakers which is an underrated practice in nyc. i bought a t shirt with animals wearing eyepatches.

We went to go see a bunch of people from our camp fight at a local festival the other night. JR (young guy, one of our trainers) was a fucking beast. lost by points. everyone disagreed with the decision but the other guy got a lot of (whack) knees in on him and thats what scores. nung(kid from our camp) won and got a cool little trophy. Po (very small, hard to tell how old these kids are tho, maybe 10?) kneed the other kid in the ribs first round and i guess got him good cuz the other kid did not want to stand back up. WANG (the best human being ever produced) was chain smoking and making me buy beer and drink heavily with him before his match. He would altenately drink his beer and throw up next to the table (he said the canned beer had too much foam and thats why). . Wang is 30 and his opponent was 20. His opponent (unbeknownst to him before getting there) was the champion of chiang mai at the moment. When he entered the ring he was visibly bent and proceeded to sway and smile at the other dude and the audience with very cloudy eyes. In the first round wong dropped the dude twice at lightning speed. By the third round he was getting visibly tired (having not trained at all since his last fight in bangkok one month prior where he broke 2 ribs) so started chasing his opponent with reckless abandon and delivering elbow after elbow with no regard for any hits he absorbed(pretty much what i expected). Having eaten all these blows (this young dude was a fucking trooper in a half) Wongs frustration culminated in a running flying elbow that still didnt fucking knock the guy out. Round four wong dropped the guy a couple times along with falling along with him a couple times. Then he also did a fucking cartwheel into duke and almost flew completely out of the ring. Round five both fighters were exhausted. (Wang from drunken acrobatics and young dude from running away from wong and what i can only assume was terror at looking into the eyes of drunken oblivion). Wong tried to drop him a couple times but would fall along wiht him also one time he jsut fell on his own and smiled endearingly at the audience. He lost by points. It was incredibly sloppy muay thai and in the bunch of fights ive seen here ive never heard any audience cheer so fucking hard. Danish chick videotaped it. i dont know if she plans to post it before she gets home. ill try to convince her. Lost 500 baht betting on this drunken mess.

Ive had more stomach problems in the last two days along with a gross ass rash in my armpit. When Wang saw it his eyes lit up and he screamed "you! u speak this(stomach) hurt and now u this! I think you HIV!" he hopped around laughing histerically. Nung spent the rest of the night pointing at me and chanting HIV only it sounds like SIV when he says it. Also today he comes up to me with a completely straight face and looks me in the eye and spells out S I V as if hes delivering a telegram.

two days ago Den delivered a whirling blackslap to my face (the latest in a series. The first one about a week ago hit me so hard i flew off my feet). This one chipped my tooth (just a little piece). upon spitting the piece out den says no problem and removes a bunch of false teeth with his tongue. Impossible to argue with that. afterwards he tells me im a little bit crazy and he wants to see me fight before i leave.

Okay im tired. Im the best rapper. I am fucking awesome. Im in thailand. Its warm where i am and not where u are.The animal noises i hear outside all night are fucking INSANE. Im having more fun and am so much cooler than you. Im fearless and goodlooking and white and male and the world is my oyster. My entire bathroom is a shower so in the morning i piss and shower and brush my teeth and spit all over the place and its better than any feeling youll ever know.


  1. "Nung spent the rest of the night pointing at me and chanting HIV only it sounds like SIV when he says it. Also today he comes up to me with a completely straight face and looks me in the eye and spells out S I V as if hes delivering a telegram."

    Incredible. You are a good dude. We speak of you two to three times a week, mostly while drunk. It is cold and sunny.


  3. your new name is 'Whirling Blackslap'


  4. If you don't go to Vang Vieng in Laos then you're a loser and don't deserve to go to south east asia.

  5. amazing. I'm coming in april. wish you were still gonna be there but I need to hear more stories/recommendations when you get home.

  6. shit works I think you're blogs are crazy get a fight in and record it before you get back! >= ]

  7. can we get a new post?!